Do you like yourself? Do you look at your reflection in the mirror and smile because you like who you have become and are proud of who she is? Do you like spending time alone where it’s just you left to your own thoughts and feelings? Sadly many do not, and if you’re one of those people who don’t, here’s one simple secret that will help you change those negative thoughts and feelings toward yourself. Inner kindness. We are taught at a young age to practice kindness toward others and to actively love them. How many of us actively love ourselves? It can be tough to do if our interior lives are wrestling with self-rejection, regret, self-hatred, and feelings of low self-worth. Choosing to practice kindness toward ourselves despite these is a challenge that will transform our inner life experiences. If we wait to practice inner kindness when we feel like doing so or when we feel we deserve it, then our emotions are controlling us and our lives. Take control of your internal experiences by taking action despite the way you feel. Overtime, it will change the way you feel.
Oftentimes people approach situations in life with the mentality that feelings ought to come before action. It’s because it’s easier that way. For example, a child may only eat when he feels hungry, not because it will provide him energy and nutrients. A wife may only act respectful toward her husband if she feels his affection, not because she is committed to nourishing the relationship and fulfilling his needs. One may only workout when they feel hyped and high on positive emotions, not because they are dedicated to grinding through the lows and putting in the unpleasant work. While feelings and emotions can make the process one heck of a lot easier, they must not be our foundation or the engine to our actions. Make the decision to act and gradually one’s thoughts and emotions conform.
Inner kindness is essential to one’s well being. This week I challenge you to begin taking little actions that are kind toward yourself. Take a minute and dwell on your achievements. Look in the mirror and name three things you like about your appearance. Write yourself a note of affirmation. Think of ten things you love about yourself. Instead of beating yourself up over some mistake you made four years ago, empathize. Striving to understand yourself allows you to feel compassion. Take a moment to relax in a bubble bath. Ponder your qualities and strengths. Journal personal characteristics that you are grateful to have. Give yourself permission to distance yourself from negative people. (You can learn more about the importance of this in my article WHO YOU CHOOSE TO SURROUND YOURSELF WITH, YOU BECOME). Invest in a self-help book. Buy yourself colorful flowers on a rainy day to uplift your spirits. Listen to a song that brings back fond memories. Do something that makes you happy. Practicing inner kindness will relieve you from pain and will begin to transform the world you live in. Your core beliefs about yourself will shift and you will find yourself falling in love with who you are.
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